This year I’m stepping into 2023 gently. I didn't set a goal. I didn’t map my year. I don’t have a to-do list. 2022 was exhausting for me and I’ll be honest, it was too overwhelming to add anything else. Even goal planning, setting intentions or anything else. That being said, the personal trainer in me knows that this time of the year is for setting wellness goals and if that’s what you’re into, here are a few pieces of advice to help you step gently into that.
I have worked on goal setting before and a bunch of other things. I have found that in order for anything to stick, you have to do the behind the scenes work, the boring, sometimes hard work. In my experience when I set the groundwork and intention the rest will flow. Care about (blank) and the rest will flow. In this case, care about me and the rest will come together.
Here are a few key things that really make things come together for me.
Evaluate your ‘familiar’ and get real with who you are
The main thing to remember is that change is hard. Naturally we want to stick to what’s familiar - people, places, routine, behaviour, patterns, etc. Making several changes all at once can be overwhelming and may add pressure to your cooker. When you’re feeling overwhelmed you tend to move toward comfort or the people, places, routines, behaviours, patterns, etc., that are familiar to you. Not all of these things are healthy or good for us. One hard but freeing thing you can do is evaluate your environment, your ‘familiar’. Seriously evaluate. What serves you? And what should you limit or eliminate? If you’re one that gets overwhelmed easily (and let’s be honest, we all do at times) knowing your healthy vs unhealthy familiar will help you predict what you will do when things get hard or you get tired. You can even take it a step further and make a plan for yourself.
Here’s a little exercise you can try:
When I get tired and things seem hard I tend to seek —— (unhelpful/unhealthy people, places, routine, behaviour, patterns, etc).
I will recognize this because —— (feeling, intuition, and behaviour you notice within yourself).
My plan to regroup and stick with —— consists of ——.
This is really hard to do sometimes. Hard is quite frankly an understatement. You have to do some serious soul searching. All of these things need to align with your values and principles and you’ll likely need to set boundaries with yourself and others. As much as change is hard for us it’s even harder for the people around us. And I know it sounds boring. But it’s honestly the first step in setting up any goals. Get this sorted and you’re on your way to setting yourself up for success and staying focused long term.
Simply Clean It Up
As in make small changes over time. Clean it up. Diet a mess? Clean it up. Desk a mess? Clean it up. Relationship a mess? Clean it up.
Here are the areas to focus on:
Your whole self. As in what happens to you - your mind, body and spirit. Do you have negative thoughts? Do you eat unhealthy food? Are you taking time for physical fitness? Do you take time to realign your energy? All of these areas surrounding your whole self, whatever they are pick one (ie. lack of movement) and start to turn it around (start moving).
Your home. Is there a space (or spaces) in your home that contribute to your stress? Is your home a positive space? Are you able to relax in your home?
Your environment. Things that are external to you and your home but still have an influence in your life and home. Are there toxins around you? Are there relationships that are causing you stress? Is your career moving the way you want it to? Are you involved within the community?
Another way to look at this and other areas to consider are your physical health, personal growth, free time, finances, relationships, career, and community. Some of these will crossover with the examples above but just another way to give you insight and perspective.
Out of all of these, pick just one or two that resonate with you and start cleaning it up. Make one or two small changes and stick with it. When you feel you’ve got a good handle on one, start working on something else.
Take consistent action
The hardest part of any task is not only starting it but continuing to be consistent with it. I’ve been most successful when I break it down into smaller steps. Do something - anything - positive that will impact your outcome. Take a small action, even if it seems insignificant, that will move you forward. Don’t want to workout today? Go sit on your yoga mat and stretch. Better yet, just go sit on your yoga mat. Keep it easy. Keep it simple. Once you take that first step no matter how hard it is or may seem at the time, you will get a win. And a win will get you to the next step. It may be right away or it may be the next day. The timeline doesn’t matter at this point but a step forward is a step forward. And honestly let your timeline go too. Don’t worry at this moment about having an end date in mind; we will get to that later. Some things are harder than others. Some days are harder than others. If there’s anything I’ve learned this last year (3 years?) is that there are many internal and external stresses and transitions coming at us at any given moment and it's truly hard to navigate. Be sure to give yourself grace.
Break your task into smaller pieces and steps. The point is to make the hard easy. You put a puzzle together one piece at a time and if you keep putting the pieces together you will see the bigger picture come together.
Rest, Reflect and Reset
I know. I just told you to take action. But resting - taking a break - will give you perspective and allow you time to reflect and allow you to practise gratitude. As you are taking steps forward it’s important to continue to reevaluate your path’. Is your path still serving you? Does your path need to change a little to serve you better?
I’ll be honest this is still a work in progress for me. Being a mom and wife I definitely neglect this, always moving from task to task. But it's the one I need most as it helps me get back to me. It's the best form of self care in my opinion. I think we all need time to rest and reflect.
Sometimes rest is reading a book, sometimes it’s going for a walk. Sometimes it's literally taking a nap in your bed in your favourite pyjamas. The important thing is to rest the way you want to rest. You know you best. Do what you need to do.
You can do hard things.
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