Goodbye 2022
So done with you.
We knew it would be a rough year. Transitions are hard. We knew we were in for something but no idea how 2022 would unfold for our family. Don’t get me wrong there was a TON of positive growth for our family this year. And we are so grateful for the perspective and lived experience. But man. I’m not sad to see the backside of 2022.
When I look back on the past year one word comes to mind - exhausted.
I started out 2022 with not one, but three jobs. Yea. Three jobs. WTF?! Not sure what I was thinking there. There was no let up as I made the move from three jobs to one. The position I accepted required a lot of ground work from me. From February to May I was creating and implementing systems for our office. In June I had to travel. July and August were dedicated to reports and procurement. September brought another unexpected longer trip across the province. October to December was dedicated to catch up with every intention of a clean slate for 2023. But alas here I am accepting that I am only one person as I move reluctantly into the upcoming year, exhausted. (Let’s normalize disappointing others shall we.)
Travelling for work is hard. Thankfully, I was able to take my family with me. That was a treat although in hindsight a working vacation is not really great. For anyone. ANYONE. As exhausting as it was I had time with my son and husband and we were able to experience bits of this province we wouldn’t have otherwise. My initial thought was to vlog the trip but the lineup was quite full… Driving, pulling over to find things or clean things (toddlers), pumping (yup still breastfeeding), getting lost, dropping fam to the AirB&B, getting food, cooking, reorganizing the car 587 times, still trying to keep up with admin things and run a functioning business from the road, being a wife, being a mom, doing bedtime….. so many exhausting things.
By the time August rolled around I was run down. Exhausted, behind (again), busy as all hell and sick. I flew to Halifax for work and remember being so tried and sick on the plane. I arrived at the hotel 3 pm and slept till 6 am the next day. That was the best and most comfortable rest I've had since becoming a mom. I digress.
In September, Harrison was able to transition into full time daycare. He had been in daycare 2 days per week up until that point. That was a new positive transition but one that came with a lot of germs. Just as I was getting over my July - August cold I was entering cold + virus hell. If you have kids in daycare or school you know what I'm talking about. Harrison caught everything. EVERYTHING. And brought it home to me. Lucky us. Chad only picked up every third cold. But they were man colds. We either had a dozen small colds/viruses ; 1 long nasty cold/virus; a few medium sized colds/viruses; or a combo of all of the above. Who knows what. Welcome to post (?) covid-19. Exhausting.
In November, my focus was to just make it to December. Just get to December and then we can rest. No work. No school. Just pyjamas, movies and snacks on the couch. No visitors (because visitors bring germs), no drama, no germs, no sickness, no unsolicited advice, no thinking, no doing. Just rest, recovery and healing.
But then. My house. My house is a mess. Like huge mess. There are things everywhere. So many things. Where did all these things come from? Get to December and rest in your messy, cluttered house. Rest with my thoughts and clutter. Clutter and thoughts… ((I’m realizing that we need to change all of this)) All this crap has to go. Start cleaning. Start decluttering. All of this ‘stuff’ is exhausting. But. Wait for it. Let’s throw in more stuff on Christmas Day. Ugh. Exhausting.
And now my rest break has become my cleaning + decluttering break. Bleep. Bleep. BLEEP. Lol. Bleeping exhausting. No it’s all good. Transition. Right?! (Right?)
#overit.
These last 2+ years have been exhausting. We have all been playing some strange game of catch up while trying to function through the unknown. Trying to make up for who knows what. I feel it. I really do. People want better, are seeking better and so they should. I see you. I am you. But this entire transition - whatever ‘this’ is - has been fucking exhausting. Its been one giant step forward and backwards all at the same time - a retrograde of sorts. And we are colliding with other journeys of exhausted transition. What a mess?! No wonder we are all sick?!
If you have been feeling this know that you are not alone. I see you. I do. Take a moment to breathe and remind yourself what you have endured over these last 3 years. Remind yourself and celebrate what you have overcome. And we are still going. Take extra time and extra care these next few days. Don’t feel the need to finish 2022 strong or start 2023 strong. Step slowly and gently into this next season. Don’t worry about goals or resolutions or mapping your year. It’s ok to step into 2023 with out a to do list. Be gentle and kind with yourself. Take time with each task. Learn to say no to what doesn’t serve you. Do what feels right to you and let go of everything else.
Goodbye 2022.
Here’s to rest, continued growth, intentional living, cleaning house ;) , and letting go.
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