Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. As busy moms and professionals, taking time for self-care is essential to maintaining physical health, mental clarity, and emotional well-being. On this International Day of Self Care, let’s explore meaningful ways to nurture our mind, body, and spirit.
Caring for your mind involves practices like meditation for stress relief, journaling for reflection, reading for relaxation, pursuing new hobbies, and taking digital detoxes. Physical health is fundamental to overall wellness, and can be maintained through regular exercise, balanced nutrition, hydration, quality sleep, and muscle relaxation techniques such as massage or stretching.
Spiritual self-care connects you with your inner self and can include spending time in nature, engaging in spiritual practices, creative expression, and maintaining gratitude and social connections. Overcoming challenges such as time constraints, guilt, low energy, and prioritization is crucial for balancing motherhood and professional demands. Remember, self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential for well-being.
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In his book, Change Your Brain Change Your Life Dr. Daniel G Amen identifies 9 types of negative thoughts which infiltrate our minds if we allow them to. They are labeled as ANTs which stands for Automatic Negative Thoughts.
“Negative thoughts invade your mind like ants at a picnic." The nine different ways your thoughts lie to you and make situations seem worse than they are listed below. Think of these nine ways as nine different species of ANTs. When you can, identify the type of ANT and you can take away the power they have over you.
1. All or Nothing – These are the ANTs that infest your brain when you think everything is good or all bad. It is the same as black or white thinking. For example, let’s say you want to stay consistent and work out a day for 30 days, if you do that, you think you are the most disciplined person on the planet. If you miss a day, you think you have no discipline and give up and go back to not working out at all. A better approach is to acknowledge that you didn’t do your daily workout and then get back on track the following day. One slip up doesn’t mean you should give up entirely.
2. Always / Never Thinking – This is when you think in words that overgeneralize, such as always, never, every time, or everyone. Consider some of the thoughts such as “I will never lose weight,” “I have always had a sweet tooth – I will never be able to stop eating chocolate,” This kind of thinking makes you feel like you are doomed to fail at eating right and staying healthy. It is as if you have no control over your actions or behaviors.
3. Focusing on the Negative – This ANT makes you see only the negative aspects of situations even when there are plenty of positives. “I know I lost 10 pounds, but I wanted to lose 15, so I’m a failure” is an example of this type of thinking. Focusing on the negative makes you more inclined to give up on your efforts. Putting a positive spin on this same thought – “wow!” I lost 10 pounds. I’m on my way to my goal of 15 pounds” – encourages you to keep up the good work and makes you feel pretty good about yourself.
4. Thinking with your Feelings – “I feel like I’ll never make it to the job promotion.” Thoughts like this occur when you have a feeling about something and you assume it is correct, so you never question it. Feelings can lie too. Look for evidence. In this example, schedule a chat with a mentor to talk about simple action steps to make it happen.
5. Guilt Beating – Thinking in words like “should”, “must”, “ought to”, and “have to” are typical with this type of ANT, which involves using excessive guilt to control behavior. When we feel pushed to do things, our natural tendency is to push back. That doesn’t mean that guilt is all bad. There are certain things in life that we should and shouldn’t do if we want to have the best body possible: “I want to eat the chips and guacamole at the party, but I should have the raw carrots instead” or “I feel like staying in bed, but I should do my workout.” Don’t mistake these for guilt beating ANTs.
6. Labeling – When you call yourself or someone else names or use negative terms to describe them, you have a labeling ANT in your brain. A lot of us do this on a regular basis. You may have said one of the following at some point in your life; “I’m a failure”; or “I’m lazy.” The problem with calling yourself names is that it takes away your actions and behaviors. If you are a failure, or lazy, then why bother trying to change your behavior? It is as if you have given up before you have even tried. This negative attitude can be terrible for your mind and body.
These last three ANTs are the worst of the bunch. I call them the red ANTs because they can really sting.
7. Fortune-Telling – Predicting the worst even though you don’t know what will happen is the hallmark of the fortune-telling ANT. Examples include: “I just know that nobody is going to invest in XYZ." "I know that my friends and family will judge me for jumping into XYZ.” Nobody is safe from fortune-telling ANTs.
8. Mind Reading – When you think that you know what somebody else is thinking even though they have not told you, and you have not asked them, it is called mind-reading. Listen carefully to the other person before trying to predict what they have to say.
9. Blame – Of all the ANTs, this one is the worst. Blaming others for your problems and taking no responsibility for your own successes and failures is toxic thinking. For example: “It is your fault I’m out of shape because you will not go with me to exercise.” Whenever you begin a sentence with “it is your fault…” it ruins your life. These ANTs make you a victim. When you are a victim, you are powerless to change your behavior. Quit blaming others and take responsibility for your actions.
Strategies to Overcoming ANTs
1. Eliminate as they attack; write it down and say is this really true?
2. Stop the thought!
3. Start every morning by saying “today is going to be a great day!”
4. End each and every evening by figuring out what went well today.
5. Create optimism with a dose of reality. What am I looking for and what am I going to do about it.
I truly believe if we all pay attention to what our thoughts are, identify them, and stop them, we are on our way to life changing things! ;)
“Your brain is seeking evidence all day for what you are telling yourselves.”
The question I hear these days is: What the heck are MACROS? Why are people talking about them, and why are they important? I can honestly say its something that I hear A LOT! As a former personal trainer on my own journey of health and wellness I thought I would give you the inside scoop. Maybe you are on your own wellness journey and need help navigating the details too (if you are come join me on my instagram and we can do this together!)
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